How to Make a Dinosaur

By Claudio Bryla, Linzy Verniers and Yahiya Saif

Dinosaurs are really cool and make great attractions. With multiple dinosaurs you can open a jurassic park. Making a dinosaur is simple as long as you have access to a state of the art lab and enough money to obtain the proper materials. Your dinosaur may eat you so be careful.

Materials

The equipment below is easily obtained as long as you have the required $15,000,000.

$15,000,000 

State of the Art Genetic Lab

Test Tube

Syringe

Reptile (lizard)

Incubator

Cow(s)

Aerosol Growth Hormones

Ikea Allen Wrench

Ikea Wooden Pegs

Directions

1. Extract prehistoric DNA using a syringe. 

• Prehistoric DNA can be obtained from museum fossils you can buy with $15,000,000. 

2.  Splice the DNA with a reptile's.

• This can be done using your state of the art genetic lab and a reptile, such as a lizard. 

3. Place DNA in a centrifuge and wait for egg to form.

• Remove the egg from the test tube once it has formed.
• Place the egg in an incubator at 100°F and use wooden pegs to stabilize egg.
• Spray with aerosol growth hormones daily. 

4.  Wait for egg to hatch.

• This process can take years.
• Be sure to keep the egg at exactly 100°F.
• Talk to egg so that it recognizes your voice and does not eat you upon hatching. 
• Upon hatching, use the Ikea allen key tap the egg gently to assist the dinosaur out of the egg.

5. Feed cow to dinosaur. 

• Dinosaur may eat you if you avoid this step.
• You may need additional cows in the future. 

Congratulations! You've officially made a dinosaur!

Troubleshooting

• My dinosaur isn't hatching.
• You may have a made a mistake along the way or your dinosaur is just taking a long time to develop. Start over if your dinosaur does not hatch within 3 weeks.
• My dinosaur is eating everything.
• Dinosaurs require a lot of nutrition. You may need to place your dinosaur in a giant cage.
• My dinosaur escaped.
• Please contact the military as soon as possible.