Home Made Meatballs

Have you ever wanted to impress your friends by making a meatball meal from scratch? Are you craving a traditional meal your mother used to make? These instructions will guide you through the steps necessary to begin enjoying Home Made Meatballs!

DISCLAIMER: Not for the faint of heart.

Description of Materials Needed to make Meatballs:

1. 1X Large Mammal (Preferably a Horse)

• Purchase large mammals at petting zoos. 
• Find Horses running wild in Texas.
• Go to your local Farm. 

2. 1X Handgun (or 1X Blunt Object)

3. 5X Bullets (In case you're a bad shot)

4. 1X All-purpose meat grinder.

5. 1X Large Frying pan

6. 1X Stovetop cooker

Instructions

1. Lure large mammal near by singing pleasant songs. If you can't sing well, proceed to the next step. 

2. Unload firearm into said mammal's cranium. This generally is accomplished by aiming for the head.

3. Run deceased mammal whole through meat grinder.

• Head first improves flavor
• May take multiple attempts

4. Form ground meat into bit-size balls.

5. Lightly sear rounded flesh on frying pan.

6. Enjoy with your friends and loved ones! Bón appetite!

Troubleshooting

1. Trouble shooting? Make sure the animal is completely dead! (Go here for practice.)

2. If animal doesn't fit in conventional meat grinder, a wood chipper is an excellent alternative.

3. Beware of overcooking, if the meat stops twitching you know you've overcooked.

4. If your friends and family do not find your dish appetizing or humane, tell them that it is a delicacy from Sweden.

5. If you are unable to obtain a firearm/handgun, substitute with large, blunt object.