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Brian- Project One Feedback

Page history last edited by Ashley Nivison 9 years, 4 months ago


1.Written very well, personality is easily read, and you list your strengths, that show in your writing. Keywords: qualities, strengths, and problem solving, all good things to include on your cover letter.


2i. Your desire to work for the company is definitely there! Word choice and organization helps echo that.

ii. Your intro to the letter shows that you have background information about the company which makes you a stronger candidate because not only do you mention you know what is going on, you mention how it excites you.


3. Meets all of Anderson’s guidelines.


4. Cover letter shows what you want and how you are qualified. Gives exactly what you need to know. The only suggestion I would offer, would be to give some examples of how computer science has helped you for this internship in the same way soccer has. I think  you should keep the referee example but try to incorporate something from your science background.



1.Include both basic and advanced knowledge, multitasking, and knowledge of different software.


2i. Skills resume.

ii. You are easily directed to their skill and education sections, organized well.

iii. Your skills and experience section are well balanced but you could beef up your education section more by listing the skills you’ve learned in certain classes. How did you achieve the advance knowledge?

iv. the analysis was sufficient.


Reading task 2:

  1. 1.     The education section could list specific classes to go along with the degree you are pursuing.
  2. 2.     The resume and cover letter as a whole show that you have taken specific classes that give you certain skills but if someone is reading your resume quickly and only look at the education section, they would not see that. Find a way to rework the information so that way the fast reader can see your education qualifications in one spot.

-Consider adding awards, workshops, advanced classes, or demos you’ve seen to add to this section

Work experience: You’ve gained a lot of skill and knowledge from work experience in Soccer and Lifeguarding but maybe try to explain them in a way that sounds appealing to Microsoft.

-All things listed cover the knowledge and responsibilities but like I said, make it sound more relevant to Microsoft.


-List your most impressive jobs first! You could label the classes you’ve taken under “related experience” this way you can include classes as both experience and education.

-Action verbs are good and parallel construction is good.



1.Use of font on the home page would draw the viewer in a little more. The Wix is organized extremely well but the lovely picture of the sunset in the mountains doesn’t exactly prepare me to learn of your want to work at Microsoft.

2. Definitely is designed for professional use. Organized well and easy to navigate. The only thing I would change would be adding a little more information to help give you more personality and more of a web presence.


-Like I said, easy to navigate and really easy to use. The photo with your name is a very nice touch. 


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