• If you are citizen of an European Union member nation, you may not use this service unless you are at least 16 years old.

  • You already know Dokkio is an AI-powered assistant to organize & manage your digital files & messages. Very soon, Dokkio will support Outlook as well as One Drive. Check it out today!


Ashley's Project 1 Feedback

Page history last edited by Justin Bongiorno 9 years, 2 months ago

Phase One: Analyzing Cover Letters and Giving (Critical and Generous) Feedback 

Reading Task 1:  Mine for Content and Test its Persuasiveness 

  1. Quickly Read over the cover letter once.  To help the author make some decisions, note your initial impressions about the letter (note anything that comes to mind: what stands out?  what seems strongest about the letter?  what seems weakest about the letter?).  Then list off four 'keywords' that stand out.
    1. Strongest
      1. Establishes deep connection with the city
        1. Makes it clear that she wants to give back to the city in a way that has given to her
        2. Feels definite that she can connect to the youth
      2. Establishes that she is invested in this profession
        1. Art has inspired her entire life
        2. Taken her art to next level (education and inspiration from Detroit)
      3. She establishes that she has experience
        1. Previous projects mentioned
    2. Weakest
      1. Organization could use some work
        1. Last sentence in second paragraph doesn’t seem to belong
      2. Not sure what the organization/establishment wants and if your goals align with theirs
    3. Keywords
      1. Inspiration, next level, excel, community, opportunity, skills
  2. Read it again and look to see if the letter answers the three key questions (if all three are relevant) on p. 46.  Note whether or not the questions are answered well by:
    1. Why do you want to work for this company? Instead of someone else
      1. Deep connection to the city is a great start
      2. Could be deeper if you add why this specific company instead of other companies in Detroit (if there are any)
    2. How will you contribute to the organizations success?
      1. You say that you are very invested in Detroit, in your career which you are pursuing professional education for (maybe list specific skills you’ve gained from school).
      2. I’m not sure if you’ve addressed what the organization’s goals are directly but you’ve addressed everything around it. I believe that it would be beneficial to make a direct contact with the organizations goal and how you can help them achieve it.
    3. Will you work well with others?
      1. Seems like you’ve addressed that point with your skills section (last paragraph), you could possibly emphasize communication with others as one skill  
    4. conveying that the employer has been RESEARCHED, by noting a reader-centered fact (do they compare this position or company to another one? do they specifically note something about the position that the organization values, like a specific innovation, process or goal?)
      1. you’ve compared why you want to work with this establishment vs someone else outside of Detroit, maybe try to make it more specific and compare other Detroit establishments to this one.
      2. No specific organizational values, innovations, or goals of the establishment.
  3. Read the letter again and consider if it meets the 5 goals in Anderson's Guideline Three (p. 47-48).  Does the overall organization of the letter seem well balanced in providing these, or does it out of balance? (i.e. Does it spend too much time with one objective rather than another?)
    1. Feels balanced but needs fine tuning
    2. NO well-balanced objectives
      1. Needs to focus more on company objectives (or touch on it) and demonstrating knowledge about organization
      2. Make your skills more directly tied to the organizations success
      3. I think the last paragraph should indicate the next step (interview, next meeting, etc.)
  4. Comment on the cover letter's effectiveness as an argument.  Does it:
    • Show readers the author possesses the most important skills s/he seeks (a good match for the organization's mission/goals and job requirements).
      • You present skills and various other goodies, but it doesn’t seem to integrate with the organizations mission/goals
    • Convince readers that the company will benefit from hiring the applicant (how s/he will help them).
      • Love the inspiration from Detroit and giving back to the youth in the city
      • Try to tie that more strongly with how it would help the establishment
    • Include in each paragraph a strong reason why your employer should hire this person and how they will benefit from the relationship.
      • Each paragraph has strong reasons, try to make it seem more evident that you’re the best option and that your strong skills will benefit the establishment.


Reading Task 2: Editing for Style, Concision and Mechanics  

  1. Quietly read the letter out loud, and use your group expertise to focus on style (our only key focus here will be on using mainly the 'active voice'), concision(avoiding overly long or complex sentences or sections) and mechanics/grammar.  Do your best to leverage team expertise to help edit each document. 
    1. Just some editing would really help with the flow of wording. Some words can be cut out but overall grammar and mechanics is intact. However could still be improved with editing.


Phase Three: User Test and Design Critique of Professional Websites

So far in this course we've paid attention to some basic design principles for building wiki pages, drawn from basic design principles discussed in Kramer & Bernhardt — including:


  1. seeing the page as a grid
  2. "active" use of white-space
  3. using text structures to guide the reader (including functional links)
  4. proportional fonts and spacing
    1. Font for name could be more professional, however since you’re an art major it may be appropriate. I do find it helpful if you’d include your full name. You could leave A.E. Nivison there but it would be appropriate to include your name under it. And under that maybe you could put in quotes “I’ve got paint in my clothes” to make it seem more like you’re saying it. Maybe your picture can go under that quote and maybe put the email me menu to the bottom of the page.
  5. controlling style features (in this case, font and color) 
  6. use of images and color to enhance your message and readability   
    1. Coo! Just play around with it for a bit, maybe centering some more aspects could help!
    2. Adding resume to the about me page (adding a page/section for that) may be a little more professional.


Reader Task 1:  Judge the basic design and functionality of the website

  1. On the frontpage of the website, do you see the author trying to apply the above six design principles?  Just looking at the website, which of the six needs most improving and how?   
    1. See comments under the design principles
  2. Does this look like a website designed for long-term professional use, or as a website designed for this course project?  What else, if anything, needs changing? 
    1. Seems like a website designed for this course project
    2. Maybe the addition of pages to include resume and cover letter on the about me page would make it seem more professional
    3. Maybe have the ENG 3050 projects ported to the about me page (add a page on about me and insert a small description of the projects)
    4. Maybe adding a paragraph for an about me that includes your hobbies, experiences, and outlook on life briefly


Reader Task 2:  Test the Site's Usability


Talk as a team, describing in plain language (as if your were thinking aloud) as you click around. Navigate the website and think of yourself as three potential employer trying to use the website, and just think of yourself as a friend trying to help out.  Write down everything you're thinking in rough notes, touching on each of the following:


With all usability tests you want to discover whether the user:

  • gets the point of the page(s) -- do you see a clear purpose for different pages?  Does the purpose make sense for our project and for long term use? What makes most sense to you as you click around?
    • NO other pages
    • No seems for short term use
  • understands the navigation system -- do you understand how to navigate to and from pages?  Is there anywhere you get lost?  Can you guess where to find things?
    • Yes
    • No
    • Yes
  • likes/dislikes the site -- is there anything you particularly like or dislike?  is there anything that makes you feel that the cite is amateurish?
    • Not having resume directly on website as well as cover letter
    • Full name is no where to be found
    • Addition of what you are studying at Wayne State University


Resume Critique


Phase Two: Reading and Critiquing Resumes 


Reading Task 1: Scan the Resume


The three things Anderson says employers look for in resumes are technical expertise, supporting abilities, and favorable personal qualities.  In a quick reading (less than one minute!), try to identify as many as you can of each of these (*note: supporting abilities can be social skills, communication skills or intellectual skills).  List these off as key words that stand out to you as readers.  Do these match up well with the list on Anderson's p.43?  Is there a notable gap?


I found that there were many technical expertise and supporting abilities that stood out, which were directly related to the position that you are applying for.  It stood out immediately to me that you have had quite a lot of previous experience working within the art community. It also stood out to me that you have also been involved working with children in the past, which is great, because the position you are applying for is geared towards exposing children to the arts.


Read the audience analysis linked on the author's class roster page. Then scan the resume's headings only, before answering the following:

To you, do these headings emphasize a skills resume or experience resume? 


I believe that the headings of this resume appear to emphasize an experiential resume.


Do the headings direct you (easily and quickly) to a major accomplishment or impressive skill?


The headings are well organized and the content within each of the headings can easily be found by using the headings as a guide to the different topics.


What is the balance of employment history, skills and education?  Does this balance suit the position being applied for?


The employment experience consumes a lot of the space of this resume. Although the employment experience demonstrates that you have had a lot of experience working with art, I think it may be beneficial to specifically make note of the degree that you are working towards and to also include your expected date of graduation.


Did their audience analysis seem sufficient?  Should they extend this in some way, and if so what should they be analyzing and why? 


After reading the audience analysis, it becomes clear why you chose to highlight your previous experience and incorporate it into a skills based resume. The past experiences you have had working in the field of art are very diverse, which nicely presents your interest in the art culture.


Reading Task 2:  Critique Key Sections  

The three ways employers read resumes are (1) initial screening, (2) detailed examination of the most promising applications, and (3) reading beyond the resume in preparation for in-depth interviewing. 


Give a Detailed Examination of the Education Section and consider these key questions:


Does this section highlight courses that are relevant (giving course titles and brief descriptions, not course numbers)?


In the education section, I found that you have listed that you have studied art in high school, community college, and university. However, I did not find that the education you listed was very specific. It may be beneficial to provide specific courses that you have had studied in greater detail and also incorporate advanced topics you have had experience in, as well as topics you plan on studying in your future academic career. Again, I think it may be beneficial to note the specific degree you are working towards, including the prefix B.A. or B.S., to bring keywords, which may increase the number of hits that you will receive on your resume.


Does this section highlight a course or two that broadens the range of abilities the applicant brings to the job/internship?


I did not find any specific courses listed on this particular resume. It may help to list specific courses that you have been enrolled in, or courses you plan to take in the future.


Does this section list any special projects, internships, or advance courses?


The internships I found were in the experience section of this resume, which I found clearly presented in the Children’s Hospital of Michigan experience.


Does it list any awards or academic honors? If so, look at tips 1 and 3 from "6 resume secrets backed by psychology" then make any necessary suggestions for improvement. 


I was unable to find any academic honors listed in this resume.


Give a Detailed Examination of the Work Experience Section and consider these key questions:


Does this section highlight the following Accomplishments from work or school projects that count as work experience?  Given the application, can they include anything recent or leave a space for this term's work?  Is this ethical? (p. 30)


Yes, I felt that this section was a very strong section and it did a nice job of displaying your dedication to the art community and your interest in art outside of the classroom.


Does this section do enough to highlight Knowledge gained from work experience? (p. 30)


In the skills section you noted that you have extensively worked with children of all ages. It may be beneficial to note about the events that you have been a part of and what you had done specifically at those events to express in the experiences you have had in educating and exposing youth to the field of art, which may also contribute to expressing your passion for art as well.


Does this section do enough to highlight Responsibilities given at work? (p.30) 


In the experience section, I thought that you did a nice job of expressing responsibilities and knowledge gained. I thought your experiences expressed your versatility, as you have had experiences working in both an art gallery, as well as a hospital. One way to enhance this section may to specifically note how you assisted the patrons who came into the gallery.   


Reading Task 3:  Editing for Organization, Style and Ethics


Use Anderson's p.33 to read and critique the organization of bullet points in key sections.

Do lists move in an order that makes sense chronologically or from most to least impressive?


I do think that placing the Starbucks experience between the two art experiences takes away from the flow of the resume. According to Anderson, it may be helpful to create a special heading “Other Experience” for highlighting less relevant jobs in a later section.


Do they use strong action verbs?  Are they too repetitive? 


Stronger action words could be used to enhance the description of your experience. For instance, using words such as “created” or “designed” in descriptions.


Do they use parallel construction?

Given that we are drafting a 'future oriented' resume (including some information from what we're doing right now as students) does any of the information on the resume raise any of the five ethical considerations listed from p. 54?


I believe that this resume was very honest and it did not raise any ethical concern.

Comments (0)

You don't have permission to comment on this page.