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Elhaj's Project One Feedback

Page history last edited by Claudio Bryla 9 years, 5 months ago

Phase 1


Reading Task 1

1. Initial Impressions

  • spelling mistakes (Word is noting a bunch of errors)
  • too long to impress quick reader
  • good formatting
  • “I can honestly say” first sentence
  • doesn’t flow sometimes, feels like a list



  • physical therapy
  • wayne state
  • undergrad
  • lab


Why do you want to work for me instead of someone else?

  • describes why he wants to work for the company
  • does not compare to other employers


How will you contribute to my organizations success?

  • discusses how his success in the program will contribute to his success vs theirs


Will you work well with the my other employees and the persons in which we do business?

- not really mentioned when it comes to employer

- although customer interaction is briefly described


2. Pathos

- definitely shows an enthusiasm and desire for the program.



  • past personal experiences and educational experience are mentioned, which show a range of valid credentials for this position



  • the program is well researched (facts presented)
  • not many values or innovations are presented


3. Anderson’s 5 Goals (Guideline 3)

  • job he wants is identified clearly
  • a fair degree of knowledge is included
  • explains why he has chosen to apply to this specific employer
  • goes through qualifications but does not relate them to the success of the employer
  • next steps not mentioned (no question to contact)


4. Effectiveness as an Argument

  • skills are mentioned but goals are not
  • no mention of how the company will benefit from hire
  • paragraph 1 is convincing because it shows an understanding of the program
  • paragraph 2 is convincing because it shows knowledge obtained in his studies
  • paragraph 3 is convincing because it shows personal experience in the field


Reading Task 2


1. Editting for Style, Concision and Mechanics

  • Intro sentence really long, break it up.
  • Capitalize Wayne State University
  • Needs more commas to break things up so things can flow
  • First two paragraphs need some work, some sentences should be rewritten for grammar.
  • Third paragraph is good.



Phase 2


Task 1

Scanning the Resume

  • Activities should go lower.
  • Last section is a different font.
  • Combine work experience and use sub headings to divide up work experience.


Experience Resume

  1. Headings should be re-ordered.
  2. Having work experience header higher will direct to impressive skills, like work experience.
  3. Good balance of both employment, skills and education, equal amount shown.
  4. Yes it’s sufficient, it goes into their goals with the resume and information about their position and employer.


Task 2

1. Relevant courses are mentioned.

2. Courses relevant and that also show other abilities are mentioned.

3. Yes, special internships and work experience is listed.

4. No academic honors or awards mentioned.


Phase 3

Task 1

- Really clean design.

- Excess white space at the bottom.

- Good use of font.

- Nice image but not relevant.

- Maybe condense project links into a dropdown, so as to reduce the size of the navbar (if possible).


Task 2

- the point of each page is displayed through highlighting of the navbar

- navigation very simple, standard navbar

- likes: 

     - clean, simple, easy to navigate

- dislikes:

     - plain, could use more content, will probably come with time.



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